The Mirage Called Success
What makes a person happy? What would qualify a person to be called successful? As a student, I pondered over these thoughts.
Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be great. Yet one in ten adults are said to suffer from a depressive illness in any given year.
One is always curious why so many technological advancements have not led to a parallel improvement in people's satisfaction of life. To arrive upon such a paradoxical state of affairs is quite disheartening. To find the root cause of such a conundrum, one must journey inwards, and unravel one's own perceptions of success and happiness.
Some of the largest business tycoons who are said to have 'made it' in life, who have 'strived and succeeded', are found to suffer from depression. Yet a school teacher who lives his life in a humble suburb scraping together money to pay his rent, finds himself blissfully quenched.
Having read many biographies and several books on the matter, I have gained a few valuable insights that have helped me a great deal in leading a more fulfilling life. In sharing these insights, I hope you may benefit and lead a more satisfactory life.
Finding Meaning Through Purpose
In the book 'Man's Search For Meaning', the concentration camp survivor and father of Logotherapy, Viktor Frankl, describes his belief that man's ultimate desire in life is meaning. A purpose. He talks of his own as well as the camp's inmates' experiences to shed light on how man endured the darkest times of his life.
Frankl describes that one could give meaning to his/her life through three means: through work, through love, or through honorable suffering.
In his first few days, Frankl chose not to 'run into the wire' and commit suicide. He chose to live for the sake of his profession and complete his work in psychoanalysis. He chose not to lose hope. He chose to observe the psychological effects of camp life on an inmate. In his most troubled and vulnerable times, Frankl stuck to the image of his wife, and the hope of meeting her after the war. Every man according to him, has a purpose. A purpose to which he could commit and devote his thoughts and time, in order to give meaning to his life. Every survivor of the camp is said to owe his life to such a cause. He believes in his soul, that everyone has a caring spouse, parent, or friend who has once walked this earth, wishing to see their loved one live graciously and suffer honorably and meaningfully.
Transforming Suffering into Meaning
There is a practice in Japan and many eastern countries that finds its roots in the ancient and rich history where terminally ill patients offer prayers that their suffering ceases the suffering in the world. They believe that their suffering can be transformed into something positive and meaningful.
The Science of Happiness
The longest study in the world conducted by Harvard on over 700 participants finds that the primary source that makes people feel happy are supportive relationships.
A study conducted by Dunn, Aknin and Norton with over 600 participants found that volunteering for a charity or donating towards a charitable cause has a direct positive relationship to happiness and satisfaction with life.
Your life can certainly become more meaningful and fulfilling. It's up to you to move forward with what you believe and care for most.
Breaking Free from the Matrix
While the teacher in our story may not have driven a Mercedes, he certainly led a meaningful life. At the pinnacle of the technological revolution, our lives have become cluttered with information, deadlines, and commitments that most of us do not care for. Yet the tenaciousness with which we are made to pursue such goals by schools and society has led us astray.
How do we escape from the matrix you say? How do we quench our thirst for satisfaction?
It's simple. We start our day with a compliment to someone we love, we finish our day with a charitable act and a sense of gratitude for all we have. We fill our lives with meaning one moment at a time, in our own way, in a better way.